Aaron Reddin onLife, Liberty, and Pursuit of Jesusness

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 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

You a most likely wondering what I’m referring to as “man stuff”.  Allow me to explain. 

You see, we men have our own unwritten language, a code so to speak.  There are just some things that a “man” must know how to do.  He should not have to just figure them out.  They should be taught to him by another man, at a very young age.  These are things that a man need not ever have to teach himself:

how to change the oil

how to change a tire

how to use jumper cables

the in’s and out’s of sports

how to hunt/fish

how to properly execute the construction of a “magic triangle”

how to use a public urinal without looking like an awkward dingbat

how to use a grill

I’m sure there is much more “man stuff” that I could list.  But these are the most crucial.  Fathers, this is your responsibility.  Teach your son(s) how to do “man stuff”. 

A man should never have to teach himself how to do “man stuff”. 

What things would you ad to this list?

While this book was highly informative from a historical standpoint, it was largely lacking on the “God” part.  Let me explain:

I learned more about beer’s history, how it was made, and how it shaped culture than I had ever known.  I didn’t realize just how influential beer has been on the history of man.  I had no idea how closely beer and Christianity were tied.  I learned about the history of Guinness and the life of it’s founder, Arthur Guinness.  While all of this was mildly intriguing, it got boring about half way through. 

I guess I expected to learn, AND to grow in reading this book.  Unfortunately it’s all pretty much knowledge.  The title lead me to believe that we were going to go after God.  That there might be some level of spirituality involved. 

While the heart of Arthur Guinness is depicted as that of an awesome believer who’s faith lead him to bless the lives of everyone else around him, the “search for God” part was far from personally applicable, in my humble opinion. 

This book should have had a more relevant title.  If you’re a history buff, you’ll love it!!  If you’re actually “searching for God”, look elsewhere!

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 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

Yep.  I had to do this one today.  I let my mouth get the best of me on a friends blog, and he had to put me in check.  I’m glad he did.  I need that.  I need people in my life that care enough to put my butt in check now and then.  I saw how awful I had acted toward someone and had to quickly say that I was wrong. 

Sometimes we screw up and know it, and sometimes we don’t even realize it.  David prayed to God to forgive him of his known sins, and to forgive the ones that he didn’t even realize he had committed. 

We don’t often walk in enough humility to ask forgiveness for the wrongs we don’t even know about.  We struggle enough in asking forgiveness for the crap we know we did. 

Again I believe this is something the son will either see in his father, or not.  If he doesn’t see it, he isn’t going to just “get it”.  Father’s need to emulate this before their sons. 

A man should never have to teach himself how to admit his screw-ups.

Is this something you’ve had to develop?  Or, were you taught this at young age?

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 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

In asking my friends for topics to fill in that blank, I had one answer “love” and another answer “how NOT to hate”.  I’d like to wrap both of those into one and tackle the whole nasty thing. 

I’m going to be very direct here.  VERY direct. 

Fathers, if your son reaches adulthood and does not know what love really is then you have failed.  There, I said it.  What’s more is if he gets there and is full of hate. 

You don’t get a second shot at this one.   You must teach your sons how to love, and how to BE loved.  You must make sure that he understands the destruction of hatred. 

For instance, I have known many men who struggle with racism.  I say struggle because they may have feelings of ill-will against a brother of a different race and may have even acted on those feelings, yet they don’t WANT to think and feel that way.  When talking to them about what’s going on inside it becomes evident that their father planted seeds of hatred and bitterness in them as children.  Their fathers taught them how to hate others who were not like them.  Maybe he did it verbally, and maybe he did it only through his actions but either way he taught that hatred to his son.   Now his son struggles in life, because he doesn’t know how to uproot the growth from that seed that is now tearing his heart in two. 

A man should never have to teach himself that love is greater than hate. 

Do you know someone who has struggled with hatred? 

Do you think that someone can be naturally blind to the difference in love and hate?

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 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

This one just boils down to how selfish, or selfless the father is in his own life.  If dads are ultra selfish and do not show their sons what it means to be a giver and meet the needs of others, then the son may very well face neglect as a result of that very selfishness. 

Today I had a man bring his 5 year old son to the Nehemiah House to give us a trunk full of turkeys and meat.  Though this little boy will likely never remember coming there, his dad has committed to teaching his son that life is about others.  He has made the decision to teach his son that people need help, and if you have the means to assist them then that’s what you do.  It’s just what you do. 

I watched as this young father explained the kitchen to his attentive little son.  I watched him as he had his son giving my men in the rehab program high fives, shaking their hands and learning their stories.  It was incredible.  It was beautiful. 

A man should never have to teach himself how to meet the needs of others. 

Do you have/know a father who loves to meet the needs of others?

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

In the good name of Jesus

(author unknown)

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 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

In addition to the list of things that a man should never have to teach himself, is “how to feel good about himself”.  Again, sounds simple.  Why is this a big deal? 

If a father doesn’t help his son find his true identity and worth in Christ, that son will go on an agonizing voyage to find his worth in something. 

If he is left to learn this on his own, he will likely find himself wrapped up at some point in drugs/alcohol, sex, greed, and winning the race to bottom of the bottomless pit. 

Father’s have a call to duty, to teach their sons where and how to find their self-worth.  Teach this, and then reinforce it throughout his life, dads. 

A man should never have to teach himself how to feel good about himself. 

How can you relate to this one?  Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

This may sound like I’m tooting my horn, but I assure you that I’m not trying to go there. 

I use Google Analytics to tell me about the readers of this blog.  I like to know how people get to the blog, where they live, what pages they’re looking at.  In less than a year, I have had visitors from almost 50 different countries.  I would love to keep material on here that is relevant to all of those people, in hopes that they will hang around and get interactive with this blog. 

At the same time, I have a lot of local readers too that I want to stay relevant with as well.  So, I’ve decided to start a “local” blog about Arkansas and the service opportunities and goings on of our communities.  If you are my neighbor here in Arkansas, I invite you to join me here and on the other blog, titled Helping Arkansas.  You can get there by going to http://helpingarkansas.blogspot.com.  There you will find things specific to Arkansas. 

Here on this blog, I will try to keep the content pretty general.  Here’s hoping you will hang out in both places!

Click to see all the other posts that are a part of the 

 “A man should never have to teach himself _______” series.

I’ve been compiling a list of things that a man should never have to teach himself.  I’m addressing them one by one, and then may circle back around to re-address them. 

This one seems like such a basic life principle, yet it is a huge problem in the lives of men.  I find that more men are unfaithful to their wives than I ever imagined.  I find that they isolate themselves in their fantasy worlds and secrets and feel they can never come out of it to experience the freedom that Christ has bought. 

I find that some men were never taught how to be faithful to their wives.  They have to teach themselves.  Sometimes they have no idea, and never learn it. 

You may be asking yourself if this is something that should really have to be taught.  To that I say, YES.  Fathers need to teach their sons how to love their wives and how to offer themselves up for her just as Christ did for us. 

A man should never have to teach himself how to be faithful to his wife. 

Can you relate to this in your life/marriage?

It can be easy for data to be manipulated, or just misread sometimes.  It can be tricky trying to take numerical data from surveys and translate it into factual conclusions. 

With so many grants and operating funds riding on the interpretation of data, you can the necessity to make accurate interpretations. 

I honestly don’t have a huge point in writing this post. 

I just read a report (HERE) about how sports causes teens to drink more and possibly fight more.  If this is accurate, then great!  If it is not however, then someone is misinterpreting this data. 

I personally would logically think that kids who are more prone to high-risk activity are going to be the ones who would want to be involved in sports.  Makes sense to me. 

You can’t just take data that shows the use of athletes and assume that the sports are causing it.  This just seems like a silly and premature assumption to me. 

Do YOU think that sports could cause teens to drink or fight more? 

For more information, click HERE.

There are a few things in my life that I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m very proud of.  Did that make any sense?  Anyway, being a US Marine is one of the things in my life that I am most proud of.  That’s why I must share with you a celebration of the birthday of the Marine Corps.  Semper Fi!