Check out this amazing guest post by Kathy Gilbert Taylor about the inability of men to experience emotions…..

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

Societal pressures cause us to rethink the validity of things that seem so natural. When things happen to us in our early years, they tend to seem normal. What we learn at an early age often becomes internalized.

Most people don’t scold a two-year old boy when he smashes his finger or breaks a bone, but can we say the same about a boy who is ten? As boys approach adolescence, they hear this message loud and clear: big boys don’t cry.

Pain brings tears, and the older we get the more pain we experience. If boys and men are taught not to cry, it’s difficult for them to know when they can allow themselves to be vulnerable. Whom can they trust with their insecurities and sorrows?

When it is deeply buried, sorrow can evolve into anger. Unexpressed pain foments, and it becomes apparent when it has the power of a man behind it. Angry men are often intimidating and frightening, and we don’t dare tell them to “buck up” the way we tell young boys to do so.

The problem, as I see it, is that we blame the man for his anger. All we see is the road rage or the domestic violence. If only we could have seen the boy who had to hold in his tears, the boy who felt as though he had no one to talk to when his parents divorced, the boy who wanted to be exonerated when someone at church made a false accusation against him, or who wanted to talk about how much it hurt when he was rejected by his first girlfriend.

Showing anger seems so much more appropriate. By the time a boy becomes a man, he’s learned that it’s acceptable to be angry about losing a football game, because of work-related stress, or at the person who didn’t give him the right-of-way.

Once others are intimidated by this grown man’s emotions, society offers plenty of solutions, everything from anger management to psychological counseling. I don’t understand how these remedies can truly be effective if we don’t allow the individual to express a full range of emotions, and that expression includes tears. Here’s the rub: the problem is that the grown man is out of practice. He doesn’t know whom he can trust, know who will hold him while he cries, or who will accept him and his pain without using his “weakness” against him.

Catharsis is good for the soul, and what is good for the soul is good for the man. Our society needs less aggression and more empathy. God has given us all permission to cry, regardless of our age or gender. He meets us with healing in His wings. Because he records each one of our sorrows for us, we can let them go as our tears begin to fall.

Kathy Gilbert Taylor, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, is the author of With Great Mercy, a devotional for people who experience pain. She advocates for individuals with disabilities, specializing in facial pain. Kathy also taught high school English, drama, and journalism and worked as an editor. Prior to teaching, Kathy spent several years in the Air Force, first at the Air Force Academy Chapel and then in special forces at Hurlburt Field. An ordained minister, Kathy volunteers for Prison Fellowship Ministries and has also been a Guardian ad Litem and a foster parent.

I strongly encourage you to check out her website at http://withgreatmercy.com, and you can find more great writings like this on her blog, HERE. 

You can find her on Twitter at @so_tweet. 

But most importantly, grab a copy of her book right here!!!