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Posts tagged Jesus
I Killed a Cat
Well, kinda. Not really….but kinda.
Most that know me, know that I really don’t like cats. It’s only right that I go ahead and clear that up at the beginning of this post. I really, really don’t like cats.
It was pouring down rain a few days ago and I was on my way to run some errands, in no hurry mind you. When I came a across a tiny little kitten that was struggling and flopping as it tried to get across 4 lanes of traffic in the rain.
My heart said, “You need to get that cat and take it somewhere before it gets killed.”
My mind said, “You hate cats, let somebody else deal with it.”
I drove about another block and realized that I was NOT doing the right thing here. So I turned around and mashed on the gas to try and get back to this vulnerable kitten.
As I got back to it and was about to jump out and get it, I saw a car run over it. Needless to say, the kitten was killed instantly.
I wanted to throw up.
Why didn’t I just stop and do what was right the very second the opportunity was presented to me?
All of the emotions that I felt this past January when I should have checked back on a homeless neighbor and didn’t only to find that he froze to death a few days later, came rushing back over me. Yeah, you can read about that disastrous inaction on my part HERE.
The window we have to do what we know we need to is very small, and doesn’t last long. At all.
Hesitation and distraction can be the difference between life and death. For animals, and for humans.
I pray that one day I’m mature enough to do right for others, instinctively. Without hesitation. Without contemplation. Without blowing it, again.
I Really Want to Die…….Like George
I’m sure everybody has some ideal scenario in which they think they will exit this life. It never happens like we envision it, but it happens nonetheless.
A friend of mine said once, “I want to die empty, because I gave everything away.”
I loved that. But I wondered many times what that would actually look like. This week it became real to me when my very dear friend George died.
George died empty. George died with nothing. George leaves nothing behind, that we can touch anyway.
But what he did leave behind is a beautiful example of that statement.
I met George about 4-5 years ago when I took a position at the Union Rescue Mission. George basically served as the gatekeeper for the men’s homeless shelter. He was a staple. He had been there for MANY years. He began serving soon after he had come into the shelter himself, when it was on the north side of the river.
I grew fond of George very quickly as we would talk and he would share stories of his life and the previous years of the Mission. I really looked at him almost like he was grandpa. I guess in a way I kind of wished he was.
We had fun times and hard times. Head-butting and hugging. He was a stubborned old man so set in his ways that you just had to work around it sometimes. But he as faithful, and completely selfless.
He served the men in that shelter for well over a decade, I know. He did it for free. Seven days a week. 365 days a year. Whatever was needed, he was willing to take it on…or at least give it a serious shot!
All of this, without EVER expecting or even asking for anything in return. Nothing. He didn’t want anything. He just wanted to serve, and be a part of helping the dudes that came in that door.
We all knew that Wednesday would happen someday. We all knew that George would be there, working and serving, until his heart quit beating. That’s exactly what happened.
George died, and nobody even realized it. You won’t see him on the TV. Or in the paper. You won’t hear about it on the radio. For you, it will be like nothing even happened. Another nobody, who had nothing, goes on.
That’s just how George wanted to go. Quietly. Unnoticed. He just wanted to serve and take care of his friends until it was his time.
I can’t think of a more beautiful ending to a life. Going out with nothing, because you gave everything.
I’ve never known a more humble (and sometimes stubborned) old man than George, and I’m going to miss him every day. I pray that I will one day be mature enough to let go of everything, and give all I have until my “Wednesday” comes.
Much love, George. The impact you had on many men is immeasurable.
Please Stop Giving Things to ALL Other Humans!!!!
This has gone on long enough and the risk is just too high to continue giving things to people. It’s just not worth the risk anymore. Especially not in “this” economy.
The only thing we can do at this point is to just stop.
Stop giving Christmas gifts. Stop giving birthday gifts. Stop helping your kids with their first car. And certainly stop helping them pay for college!! Just stop it!!
Stop giving your teenagers lunch money. Stop giving people directions. Stop giving things to people! I can’t stress it enough!!
Because the risk is very high and chances are that those Christmas or birthday gifts may be sold, returned or even RE-GIFTED!!!
There’s a good chance that after you buy your kid a car, they’re going to break the speed limit with that gift! They could even get a ticket! And if we’re really honest, they’re probably gonna have sex in it!!! OMG!!!
And college? Don’t you know what happens there? I’m not going to help somebody pay for college if they’re gonna go to drinking parties and maybe even be exposed to marijuana or something like that! What if they tried it! I’m not contributing to that!
And that lunch money you’re giving your kids? Probably buying baseball cards or maybe even a buddy’s dad’s old Playboy magazine that buddy stole!! I’ll have no part of that. They can find a way to get food on their own!!
And for the sake of all that is good and holy, what about those HOMELESS people?!?!?!
What if God decided to never give me another blessing that He knew I would turn around and use for something I shouldn’t?? Or maybe He just suspected that I MIGHT use it for something I shouldn’t?
But He gives to me still. Abundantly. Knowing that with most of the blessings He has given me in my life I will turn around and break His heart with in some way or another. I’m glad He never stops giving. Never.
Who are we to determine the condition of someone’s heart when giving? How are we even justified in calling it a gift if we attach strings and conditions?
Jesus says to “give to anyone who asks.”
I don’t think He was joking.
And I don’t think He gave us a right to give based on our perception (or prediction) of one’s heart and/or actions.
“Give to anyone who asks.” – Jesus in Luke 6:30
“The Good Man Died. The Bad Man Thrives. Jesus Cries. Because He Loves ‘em Both.”
Sweet Lord, no other song has made me feel like my insides were going to explode. This is amazing. Honestly, I haven’t heard another “Christian” artist that has stirred me like Josh Garrels has over the last few days.
I grabbed his new album off of Noisetrade because it was free and looked interesting. I had no idea what was in store for my ears and my spirit. The album is still available for free on his website, here.
The only video that I could find doesn’t really do it justice, but I’m sharing it anyway. You can see the lyrics underneath the video. They’re brilliant.
Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and byTempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man died, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because he loves em both
We’re all cast-aways in need of rope
Hangin’ on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I’ve seenWhere did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gates
Leading mice and men down to their fates
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walkin’ that line back homeSo much more to life than we’ve been told
It’s full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
Wash away all the things you’ve done
Forgiveness alrightFarther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and byStill I get hard pressed on every side
Between the rock and a compromise
Like the truth and pack of lies fightin’ for my soul
And I’ve got no place left go
‘Cause I got changed by what I’ve been shown
More glory than the world has known
Keeps me ramblin’ onSkipping like a calf loosed from its stall
I’m free to love once and for all
And even when I fall I’ll get back up
For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough
Broke down my levees and my bluffs
Let the flood wash meAnd one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
‘Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess
That the Son of God is forever blessed
His is the kingdom, we’re the guests
So put your voice up to the test
Sing Lord, come soonFarther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and by
It’s Not a New Problem. It’s Not a New Solution….
…..but it’s a problem that has no solution being offered at this time.
These are the problems I want to attack. I don’t want to do what you’re doing. I don’t want to do what they’re doing. I want to do what’s not being done.
I used to think that I needed to correct everything. I still catch myself acting that way sometimes. But overall I’m learning that this is a complete waste of my life. It’s a pride issue that makes me think that I can do things better than those doing it. God let me know a while back that this mentality is very far from where He wants me living.
So, for the last few months I’ve been attacking the things that I think need done, that nobody else is doing. It seems to be working. People are much more receptive. Much more grateful. Much more supportive. And much more encouraged.
And me? Well, I’m much more happy. More motivated. More alive. More grateful. More inspired. More loving.
No, not every day. I can still be a very prideful asshole. A lot.
But at the end of the day it’s greatly reduced and I’m able to help a greater number of people in much greater ways when I ignore what others are doing, and just do what I can do that’s not being done.
Hope that somehow inspires you to play chicken with your life’s freight train as well…..
I’ll Always be an Advocate. I’ll Just Never be a Great One.
You know those kinds of people that you either love or hate? No in-between…
I often hear that I’m one of them.
When I was much younger this always bothered me. These days, I’m learning to embrace it.
You see, the only things that I’m really good at are driving and seeing. I don’t mind telling you that I’m the best driver in the history of the universe. Just ask my wife! ;) And I can see like a hawk. Even at night.
Fact is, I’m too fat to fit in a NASCAR….and nobody pays you to see things. That I know of.
So the next best thing is to find something I’m really passionate about, and run my mouth about it. If you know anything about me, you know that this is what I enjoy.
I advocate and run my big fat mouth about homelessness.
Advocacy takes that. Running the mouth. Shouting what others won’t. Screaming what others ignore. It means sometimes pissing people off. Making people cheer for you or want to punch you. It’s polarizing. It makes people love you….or hate you….
So if that’s already going on……capitalize!!
I advocate. I run my mouth. I don’t plan to stop.
The problem is that I’ll never really be great at it. I take it too seriously. I believe in the things that I advocate for….to the point that I get angry. Sometimes I get so mad that my hands shake or my eyes cry.
I’m too rough around the edges and passionate to be diplomatic or bureaucratic. 
And I won’t waste my time trying to be. That’s probably why Dr. Phil edited half of my time on his show!! I figure it’s for the same reason that Ellen still hasn’t called! ;)
With that, comes the fact that I’ll never be the next Ghandi. Or MLK. Or one of the “greats”. But I’ll never stop regardless.
I guess my point in this seemingly pointless rant, is that there is too much pain and too much ignorance coinciding in our world to tip-toe around the issues.
There isn’t enough time in the day to quietly and carelessly see the needs and hope they’re better tomorrow. And there isn’t enough time to quietly and passively sit and try to convince others that these horrific injustices exist.
The kicker, is that there isn’t enough evidence to convince me that Jesus wants us to shut up and stop fighting for others.
(PG-13) What The Crap Are You Looking At??
I just love a good, clever church sign. You know, one that makes everybody want to come to that church….
Like this one I saw the other day: “Our church is like fudge. Sweet with a few nuts.”
Now isn’t that just cute?
But the best one I’ve seen so far this year, is actually being displayed on at least 4 church signs around here now!! You’re gonna love it!! It says:
“Focused on Heaven, in 2011″
Now isn’t that one just brilliant?!?! I knew you’d love it as much as I do.
I love it because it’s true!! And we all love us some truth, right??
I know it’s true because I encounter people from churches all over our community daily. They really are focused on heaven. Really.
I know it’s true because there is a point in each conversation where I make them really uncomfortable. I do so by taking the conversation to a place they’ve clearly not been lately.
That place is a foreign reality. It’s a reality never visited, and grossly ignored by most.
That place is where…..
Single moms live in cars with their kids
Dads live in tents while thier kids live with their mom, who is strung out
Women who are pregnant live in tents because their baby-daddy is doing dope again
Some women choose between freezing to death or giving a blowjob for the $7 it takes to stay another night in the Christian homeless shelters
Need I keep going???
See why our conversations get so awkward? See why they quickly end the conversations when I point these things out? If they’re that focused on heaven, they don’t want to hear about these things, believe these things, or do a damn thing about these things.
Oh, Aaron….you’re just jaded and hate The Church……
Me? Jaded? Hell yeah I am…..
Me? Hate The Church? No way. I hate imposters. I hate when people just want to “have” church and not “be” church.
What I do just loooooove about them though, is how they brand us the liberals, emergents, heretics, false-teachers…..etc…
I don’t hate The Church. I love her.
What I do hate is the psuedo-Church that hides behind the bible, all the while ignoring the very teachings of Christ and the instructions that He has given us.
So……what the crap are you looking at in 2011??
Of Course “God” Wants Marines to Kill Muslims Who Help the Homeless!!
Now, I’m not one to let the stupiditity of those who worship “America” in the name of “God” get me all pissed off. You know that.
So why would a group of American flag draped neo-nazis screaming about God to a group of Muslims who want to help their homeless neighbors, get me worked up? Seriously.
Because THIS is not my God. THIS is not my Jesus. And THIS is not my country.
THIS is abhorent, disgusting, hatred.
THIS is embarrasing. THIS makes it hard to do what Christ commanded and actually love these “brothers and sisters”.
THIS makes me confused as I try to figure out how I can do anything other than hate those who breed this much hate.
What say you?
I Bet a Homeless Pastor Would Rape Every Kid in Town
Everybody knows that all the crime in the world is caused by those without homes.
For instance, the 7 year old girl that was raped in the bathroom of a restaurant on Cantrell. The server who did that was clearly homeless.
And break-ins. Every single time somebody’s house is broken into, the goods are always found under bridges, in tents and even in shelters.
And kidnapping. What about all those kids that are kidnapped, only to be found days or weeks later in the basement of some homeless persons tent??
Yep, you can bet money that if a crime has been committed, it was done by one of those people who don’t have a home.
Every drunk driver? Homeless!
Every serial killer? Homeless!
Every bank robber? Homeless!
Every wife-beater? Homeless!
You see, last night I sat in a zoning committee meeting because one city director seems to think that having the OFFICES of a non-profit that serves our homeless neighbors in the same neighborhood as a school is a safety threat.
We’re not talking about a shelter, a mental health clinic, a detox unit, etc….
We’re talking about offices, and a small warehouse.
Is there any logic to this absurd mentality that homeless people are generally bad people who are preying on those who do have homes??
Complete ignorance.
The same people who want to fight these services which are the work of Christ, had the audacity to brag about some local churches banding together to defeat services to the impoverished in our area.
Look around people! Christians!
How many “pastors” or “ministers” are in the news for child molestation and the like?
How many people without homes are in there for the same things?
How foolish to tout Christianity in fighting services to the homeless by generalizing all homeless as pedophiles, while there’s more of a problem with it in our Church leadership than there ever has been out on the streets.
Just yesterday a local “pastor” was sentenced to a year in prison for having sex with a 15 year old boy. Tally them all up. There’s more than you can count.
So, when you want to plant another church…..
You better not do it by a school!! Because all those pastors are going to be putting everybody’s kids at risk!!
And should one of those pastors become homeless? Oh shit!!
Wake up “Christianity”….
This crap is so far from the teachings of Christ.
What a sad, and embarrassing state of Christianity we have found ourselves in when our biggest battle is defending the work of the gospel against those who claim it so recklessly….
A High School Teacher Sells Her Body, While an 8th Grade Boy Gets the Shaft
This is the world in which we live. This is the media coverage by which we are fed. This is our sad reality.
All weekend long here in central Arkansas, local news media seemed turned on driven by the story of a high school teacher who had taken on interesting after-school activities. I believe the PC term to be prostitution….
It’s made clear at the same time that an 8th grader mobilizing his peers to raise money to support homeless veterans is far from newsworthy. Bull. Wanna know why I think so? Because when I was in 8th grade I began doing drugs. I never had a single thought about doing something for somebody else.
Well, I may not have that big of a platform. But I’m damn sure going to share the news that this happened this weekend. A remarkable young man named Ethan Graham organized a touch-football tournament amongst his peers to benefit the homeless veterans that reside at the St. Francis House.
Though the world was unaware and there wasn’t a Super Bowl sized turn out, in just a few short hours this young man raised enough money to feed lunch to 40+ homeless veterans for a week.
Meet Ethan. He’s newsworthy. His efforts are newsworthy. He is a hero.
Thoughts on Letting Homeless People Die, And Listening to My Wife
You probably thought this was another one of my soapbox speeches about the city of Little Rock’s actual desire for ending homelessness. It’s not. Maybe another day.
This one is about not listening to my wife actually. Most of the time I do. Most of the time I listen to her and take her advice and good things happen.
In the 15 or so years that I’ve known her, this is how it worked. She spoke, and either I listened and good things happened or I didn’t and bad things happened.
This week proved no different.
Tuesday night was the Point-in-Time Homeless Count that takes place every two years. Much like most nights we looked for people in camps, under bridges, and all through the alleys.
One person we found was sleeping, balled up in a blanket, behind Juanita’s. I parked the van and slowly approached the person, careful not to startle them. I announced myself as always with a couple of friendly hellos. They didn’t respond. Even as I got closer and a little louder.
I could see them breathing, and knew that they were either sound asleep or possibly afraid of who might be walking up on them.
It was about 55 degrees that night and the weather was clear and mild. The blanket that wrapped them was actually a really thick comforter, which would provide plenty of warmth in that particular night’s climate.
Since they seemed ok, I placed a bag full of food and hygiene products beside them and we moved along.
The next night was a planned date night for my wife and I, since she would be heading to Tampa for a few days the next morning. We went to dinner and just had a relaxing time to ourselves. She mentioned that she would like to go by and check on that person and give them a sleeping bag before we went home.
She actually mentioned it twice.
I wish I had listened. But instead I went home and crawled in bed.
Sunday morning that man was found in that same spot. Dead.
Police report no foul play. The weather has been abnormally warm the last several days, so freezing couldn’t have been a factor. Cause of death is unknown until the conclusion of the autopsy, hopefully today.
Regardless of the cause of death, I can’t help but beat the shit out of myself for not going back to check on him, like my wife had suggested.
Yesterday I revisited the spot where we found him, and where he would later die. I didn’t know whether to throw up, or scream at the top of my lungs.
How could I have been so negligent? This is what I do. Day in, day out. I find people, and address their needs.
I had found him, yet never addressed his needs whatever they may have been.
The night that we found him, I tweeted this:
Point in Time homeless count went ok. Praying I never lose this passion for finding that one overlooked person sleeping in an alley.
Today I pray that I have more passion for addressing their needs, once I find them.
I kept a piece of the police tape from the spot where he died. It will serve as my reminder that anybody can identify a person in need. But we are called to address those needs. The time in which we have to do that, is always limited.
