“Escape is never the safest path” – Pearl Jam, Dissident
More often than not, the fight is not our problem. Sometimes even the loss of the fight is not our problem.
Sometimes our propensity to escapism is our biggest enemy, and we may not even realize it.
Running is stupid. Yep, you read that right. I said running is stupid. I’m sorry if you an ultra-fit marathon freak who runs for lunch.
I don’t run. But, I’ve always been a runner. Instead of training for the Little Rock marathon, I’m actually learning how to not run. I want to be the best dang non-runner around.
Most of my life was spent running. Running from things. Escaping.
I will quickly pull off anything I can to avoid things that I perceive to be potentially unsafe, dangerous, or that may go against my plan and desires. I will fight, to avoid a fight.
Lies, passive-aggressive behavior, avoidance, denial, neglect….
Drinking, drugs, gambling, sex…..excess…
I would run, and fight twice as hard to avoid facing and resolving a much simpler dilemma. Doesn’t work. The run is typically more damaging than the initial fight would have been. The run takes me so far from where I want to be. The run removes me from everything that I actually need in that time.
It’s so often easier to screw up everything around us in an attempt to deter ourselves from what we have deemed unapproachable. We like to run. Divorce. Drugs. Prostitutes. Porn. Vodka. Tunica. Overtime. Friends. Family. Fishing.
The run kills us. The run kills our families. The run kills our everything. The run is a killer. But we run anyway. The run brings isolation. But we run anyway. Have you ever really gotten to know someone or grown closer to them while you were out on a run? Likely, no. Most people either run alone, or they have others around them but there just isn’t a lot of interaction going on. Mostly burning and sweating in the silence of isolation.
My run was meth. Oh, I’ve ran a lot of different ways…..but that was always my “go-to” run.
Drugs, just like most runs, actually compound the need to run. More conflict = more running.
More running = more problems = more running.
See, I told you running was stupid.
When I’m teaching on recovery and what it takes to completely and successfully step away from addictions, this is one of the biggest things I have to stress. Quit running. Quite simply, running can no longer be an option. Whatever you ran to, you don’t run to anymore. But even that is not enough. You have to determine to NEVER run to ANYTHING.
Escape is never the safest path. Nor is it the smartest, wisest, or even easiest. Rarely does it pay off.
Conflict can be embraced. It’s not a %&*#ing bad word. It’s not. The *#@?ing run should be a bad word. The run is a life sucking &!%#$(*!
We have to learn to fight well. Yes, that can be done. Jesus taught some of the best fighting techniques. We like to think He is some sissy little hippie who would never dare instigate a potential burst of violence. Wrong. You can’t read the gospels of Jesus Christ and not see that He is a walking time-bomb. He is a conflict driven badass. He is a warrior.
Some of the worst conflicts of my life, be it addiction or even my faith, have proven to be some of the most amazing things that I’ve experienced.
Conflict. What man intends for evil, God will ultimately use for good. Don’t be a runner. Running sucks.
Make up your mind that running is simply not an option, and watch what happens in your relationships, your career, in your checking account, and most notably in the way that you love/respect/feel about yourself.
Escape is NEVER the safest path.
(This post was first written for, and used by, Eikon Church in a series they were doing on confrontation)