I would say this is to everyone on earth, but not everyone on earth can read English. So…..since you can, it’s definitely written to you.
I’ve become a critical Christian @$$hole.
I don’t want to be that guy. Because that guy is poisonous. He is anything but a breeder of hope.
I’ve let two major situations in my life in the last year become excuses and motivators for harboring my unforgiveness and bitterness. I’ve blamed. I’ve shamed. I’ve even embarrassed myself with my poor attitude and insensitive behavior.
As he always does, Pete Wilson punched me straight in the heart yesterday via one of his latest podcasts.
Pete said something to the effect of, “It is unacceptable to blame anyone but yourself for your current spiritual health”……..that may not be exact but it’s close.
You know what? He was absolutely right.
Talk about a shot directly to the problem I’ve been facing. I’ve been trying to figure out why I couldn’t get over this “hump” in forgiving two men who I have been holding responsible for my poor spiritual health. I couldn’t seem to get over my anger and bitterness. I was continually blaming other people’s acts of “fraud” and malice for my anger with God as well.
Dear everyone – I’m sorry for being a critical jerk who continually pointed at the faults of others to make myself feel as though I wasn’t as far from God as I really was. Though I tried to fool myself, I know I never fooled you. Please forgive me.
Dear Lane, my amazing and beautiful wife- I’ll never understand how you have stood by me so many times and through so many things. Even when I recklessly put you in situations you never deserved to be in. I’m sorry that I have neglected our marital spiritual life and well-being. Few things could make me feel like a poorer husband. Thank you for loving me with grace and truth. Please forgive me for my lacking and sometimes non-existent spiritual leadership. I love you.
And God- Why does repentance have to be so hard? I guess so that we learn our lesson and try to avoid the same situations in the future, huh? I’ll never know how you continually pour grace on me. Even when I get so mad at you that I just might cuss you out. I know that you have brought me through “the valley”, and that you have better days ahead for me. Please humble me, that you might one day use me again to share your love and grace with the darkest places of earth. Please forgive me for continually screwing things up. It’s a good thing you’re God, because nobody else could handle your crazy job! ;) Please eradicate my life of the anger and resentment that I’ve stored away, in Jesus good name.
Ok, show’s over folks!!! What are you just sitting there looking at me for?? Go back to doing whatever it is you do!! :)