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Posts tagged “You Worry About You”

An Open Confession/Apology to Everyone That Can Read English

Sep08
2010 17 Comments Written by Aaron Reddin

I would say this is to everyone on earth, but not everyone on earth can read English.  So…..since you can, it’s definitely written to you. 

Gulp…..here goes:

I’ve become a critical Christian @$$hole. 

I’m sorry.  I really, really am.  I never wanted to have the attitude issues that I’ve carried and spewed all over the place for the last several months.  I still don’t want them. 

I don’t want to be that guy.  Because that guy is poisonous.  He is anything but a breeder of hope. 

I’ve let two major situations in my life in the last year become excuses and motivators for harboring my unforgiveness and bitterness.  I’ve blamed.  I’ve shamed.  I’ve even embarrassed myself with my poor attitude and insensitive behavior. 

As he always does, Pete Wilson punched me straight in the heart yesterday via one of his latest podcasts. 

Pete said something to the effect of, “It is unacceptable to blame anyone but yourself for your current spiritual health”……..that may not be exact but it’s close.

You know what?  He was absolutely right. 

Talk about a shot directly to the problem I’ve been facing.  I’ve been trying to figure out why I couldn’t get over this “hump” in forgiving two men who I have been holding responsible for my poor spiritual health.  I couldn’t seem to get over my anger and bitterness.  I was continually blaming other people’s acts of “fraud” and malice for my anger with God as well. 

So….

Dear everyone – I’m sorry for being a critical jerk who continually pointed at the faults of others to make myself feel as though I wasn’t as far from God as I really was.  Though I tried to fool myself, I know I never fooled you.  Please forgive me. 

Dear Lane, my amazing and beautiful wife- I’ll never understand how you have stood by me so many times and through so many things.  Even when I recklessly put you in situations you never deserved to be in.  I’m sorry that I have neglected our marital spiritual life and well-being.  Few things could make me feel like a poorer husband.  Thank you for loving me with grace and truth.  Please forgive me for my lacking and sometimes non-existent spiritual leadership.  I love you. 

And God- Why does repentance have to be so hard?  I guess so that we learn our lesson and try to avoid the same situations in the future, huh?  I’ll never know how you continually pour grace on me.  Even when I get so mad at you that I just might cuss you out.  I know that you have brought me through “the valley”, and that you have better days ahead for me.  Please humble me, that you might one day use me again to share your love and grace with the darkest places of earth.  Please forgive me for continually screwing things up.  It’s a good thing you’re God, because nobody else could handle your crazy job!  ;)  Please eradicate my life of the anger and resentment that I’ve stored away, in Jesus good name. 

Ok, show’s over folks!!!  What are you just sitting there looking at me for??  Go back to doing whatever it is you do!!  :)

Posted in Christianity, Misc. - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Who Gives a Crap What Jesus Was?

May14
2010 Leave a Comment Written by Aaron Reddin

This post is going to be somewhat of a finger-painting. Reason being that I’m going to give you a quick update/apology and then I’m going to get into the post. Contain your excitement.

Real quick….

I’ve been mad and bitter, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry to my friends and my family.  I’ve been bitter with God and it quickly sucked the life out of me.  Thanks to a swift kick in the spiritual groin from Charlie Loften last week, I’m stepping out of my pitty party and getting my crap together. 

Bobby Hamilton at NLC once said that bitterness is like drinking poison, and then waiting for the other person to die.  I finally understand how true that is. 

So let’s move forward and not let this junk continue. 

One of the things that Charlie really got in my face about was basic.  He simply said, “Do you believe that Jesus is the answer that everyone needs?  That He alone is the hope that people need?”

Pretty simple question, right?  Either you do or you don’t. 

In that simplicity I found something much more complex.  We (me) spend entirely too much time dwelling on what Jesus was.  We look at Jesus as if He existed at one point, and we want to know what He was like then. 

We talk about Jesus as if He never got up from His death-bed.  No wonder our faith is so weak at times.  No wonder the Christian recovery community is buying into the BS that tells them they are going to have to deal with their addictions for the rest of their lives. 

If Jesus was, then we have nothing.  What is critical for us to figure out is what Jesus is. 

The more we preach, teach, write, or view Jesus from the perspective of what He was, the further we are removing ourselves and others from actually understanding who He is and what He is doing, and can do in our very lives. 

I feel like I’ve been taken back to Christian Kindergarten with this.  But, what a revelation it’s been for me. 

I don’t want to spend my time chasing what Jesus was, because if He was then He isn’t. 

You wouldn’t go spend your money on Enron stock today would you? 

I want to spend my time chasing what Jesus is, because that’s what He was and will be….

Posted in Christianity, Misc., Outreach, True Recovery - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The “Left Right Left” Kind of Christianity (PG)

May05
2010 6 Comments Written by Aaron Reddin

Who ever thought it would be “trendy” to march to the beat of a different drum? After all, Jesus did it and it got Him killed. His disciples did it, only to find themselves brutally murdered as well.

Today’s generation is abandoning “Conservative Christianity” in droves.  Few were raised on the “left” if they were raised in church.  Most have been brought up under the rule of the “right”.  If they are willing to stick with Jesus after this upbringing, they are likely to find themselves going from right to left. 

If they came from the left and were pressured to try and perform for Jesus in the way that the right thought they should, they likely went/will go full circle, “Left Right Left”. 

I’ve tussled with my own faith, theology, and existence enough that I’ve found myself making this flip-flop several times in my “walk” (or march).

I have friends and family on both sides.  Up until lately I always loved how the lefty Christians weren’t frazzled by the righty tighties.  They would just roll their eyes and leave them be.  While the righty tighties would get red faced and bow up like a bulldog, the lefty loosies would just laugh and go on.  It was often entertaining at minimum. 

It saddens me to see the moderate to left side of the spectrum, start shifting into an issue driven militancy.  I thought this approach was specially reserved for the neo-conservative hyper-fundamentalist Christians. 

It seems (and maybe just to me) that the Church is on the brink of it’s very own civil war now.  People are forgetting about people.  Even in this age of cool kids who wear the term “social justice” on their sleeve, both sides seem to be driven by issues and not by the gospel (which is FOR people).  Whether it be issues with people, issues with each other, issues with ourselves, issues with Jesus, or issues with the world.  We are issue obsessed. 

For some stupid reason, we all think we are following the correct Jesus.  And if we were to be honest, we probably think He’s pissed at the other Christians. 

I’m pretty sure that Jesus was a radical, but not an issue obsessed militant asshole. 

How are we getting this so wrong (myself included)?

Posted in Christianity, Misc. - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

God Must be Jealous of Traffic Lights

Apr28
2010 3 Comments Written by Aaron Reddin

Let me just start by telling you where this madness came from.  You see, my faith is bipolar.  I’m not even joking.  One day my faith is manic, and the next day my faith may be as depressed as PeeWee Herman’s booking agents.  

I’ve been trying to self-diagnose the problem with my personal faith lately and it’s been very interesting.  I’ve decided that I’m going to strive to remain obedient no matter the state of my faith. 

The problem lies in how much I trust God, or even believe He’s there.  For me, it’s an unpredictable roller-coaster. 

Today, I don’t know if you would call it an epiphany, but I had a moment.  A simple and stupid moment.  I realized that I trust traffic lights far more than I have ever trusted this God that I supposedly put all my stock in.  Chew on that for a minute and I’ll bet that you do the same thing sometimes. 

I don’t ever question traffic lights.  If it’s green, I’m going.  I don’t ever doubt that the lights for the people on either side of me are red and that I’m safe to proceed.  Nope, I just go.  It’s green, I go.  I trust my entire life and continuation of my existance with the very operation and functioning of that man-made traffic signal. 

But sometimes when I think God is giving me a green light, I’ll stop.  I’ll doubt.  I’ll freeze up.  Or maybe I’ll just park the car altogether. 

If I think God is offering a yellow light, the way I respond really just depends on my mood.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I’m sure He is less than enthusiastic about that. 

God can drop a red light in my face and I will run that thing 10 times before I’m ever smart/obedient enough to stop.  Those first ten times can be killing me spiritually but I blow it off.  I may run a real red light, putting my whole life at stake though, and likely not even flinch. 

You may think this is the corniest post I’ve ever written, but unfortunately it’s the sad reality of many of our faith-walks. 

God must hate traffic lights.  He’s a jealous God. 

“You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.”  Exodus 20:5

We are obedient to the things that we trust, believe in, and maybe even worship.  How sad a state is my faith in if I’m trusting a freakin’ stop light more than my very creator? 

God, help me with my unbelief….

Posted in Christianity, Misc. - Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

“You Worry About You” – Walking in a Jesus-Wonderland

Apr14
2010 4 Comments Written by Aaron Reddin

I think we might just be obsessed or addicted to “law”.  Maybe not all of us.  But as a whole. 

What I mean by that is that in our culture we have to have a label and a definition for everything.  We are obsessed with classifying everyone and everything.  We are also particularly given to trying to define those classifications, even as they change. 

The unfortunate thing is that many people go through life trying to mold themselves into a shape that fits some “idealistic” defined classification that is either in fact non-existent, or completely unrealistic. 

Such is the case with (I would say) the majority of Christianity.  We want to know what everyone else’s faith-walk looks like so that we can try to emulate it in our own relationship with God.  This quickly turns to legalism.  You basically set yourself up to be owned by rules and checklists that you will constantly compare yourself and your behavior to. 

Who cares about everyone else’s prayer life, unless they ask you for help or advice?  Who cares about everyone else’s “quiet time”, unless they ask you for help or advice? Who cares about everyone else’s anything, when it comes to building your own faith-walk? 

I don’t have a daily “quiet time”.  Never have.  Don’t plan to start today.  Big freakin’ deal.  My time with God is anything but quiet anyway.  Does that line up with what most Christians would tell me that I need to be doing?  Nope.  Do I give a rip?  Nope. 

My walk isn’t their walk.  Their walk isn’t my walk.  My walk isn’t your walk. 

My walk is defined by me and God.  That’s it.  I don’t care how everyone else does it.  God and I have our own relationship worked out. 

Don’t spend your entire faith-walk wondering how other people do it, and thinking that you should do everything they do.  Get up every day and run after Jesus.  Talk to Him.  Read His teachings.  Learn how they apply to your life.  Not everyone else’s. 

If you wake up every day and run after Him, with no concern for the “way” that everyone else is going about it, I will guarantee you will find Jesus like you’ve never known Him before!  Go get Him!! 

For a great talk that’s rather similar but much better explained, check out Pete Wilson’s talk called Inside Out, HERE.

Posted in Christianity, Misc. - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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